Today I had lunch with a friend from law school. The last time we spoke was at our graduation about 3 years ago. It was so nice to see her and hear about her starting a new chapter of her life. She and her husband are planning on children, so I’m uber excited for their future. I must admit I was hesitant to have lunch with her. Although I absolutely adore her, I was very insecure about some questions I knew she was going to ask. Questions like:
“Are you dating?”
“Where are you working?”
“Got a new car?”
We all know those questions that let others know your socioeconomic status. And being an attorney and having nothing to show off my career is pretty embarrassing. At least that’s what I was thinking. So I doubted whether I should fall for the “trap”.
And for a long time I’ve tried to avoid all of my law school friends because I wasn’t “successful”. I avoided them at all costs. I turned off my Gchat, I disabled my Facebook account, I didn’t answer texts or calls. I even made myself believe that we weren’t “really friends” just classmates and my business was my business and they didn’t have to keep tabs on me.
Yes, I know pretty silly thoughts. But haven’t we all let our insecurities get the best of us sometimes.
I thought they were calling each other STheirDH and gossiping about Brenda’s misfortunes. I had to make them evil to rationalize ignoring their efforts at contacting me.
It hasn’t been until recently that I’ve understood the caliber of people I have around me. I’m a pretty tight chick, so the company I keep are usually tight people. Silly me, I should have never doubted my ability to attract such good people. But there are no heirs or egos when we are together. My friends truly love me because I’m me. And once I realized that I deserve to be loved, that I am worthy of love from others, I could just breathe and allow others to see me in my most humble times.
My fears tried to paralyze me. My fears attempted to get the best out of me. But I thank God for giving me the strength to face the giant that turned out to be not even a giant, just a friend.
When I moved back home after law school, it was just what I needed. I mean I came home and people were so proud of me. No one asked what law firm I was working at, they were just happy that I graduated. It really made me feel good to be loved despite having a career and making a lot of money. And I needed that type of love during the most lowest period in my life.
And I’m learning little by little that my friends are like my family. They do love me despite everything.
I’m happy that I decided to not back down on our lunch date. I’m happy that I heard of all the great things happening in her life but most of all I’m excited that she is HAPPY. And I know HAPPY and she has it.
So value your friends despite all things. And continue to let them know how special and gifted they are. Affirm them. Encourage them. Love them.