I feel like I’m supposed to have learned my lesson. Like I was supposed to ace this test. But why do I feel like I’m being retested and I’m failing miserably. I’m very embarrassed to be here again.

I’ve built another sandcastle and I see the waves in the distance. Will the waves fade out or will they come smashing down?

Should I just run and leave this beautiful sandcastle or should I stay? If the waves come should I stay and attempt to rebuild or should I stop building them altogether?

I feel like I’m in the same situation as before. He doesn’t want/need what I want/need. He’s been straightforward with me from the beginning, so I can’t really be mad. I mean I thought maybe time would change things but it hasn’t. I’m not hurt but disappointed in myself. I’m going to give it a timeline of October 4. I’m going to release the reigns, slow down the contact and move on.

Back to the drawing board I go …


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