I want breast implants. I wanted breast implants.
Ya’ll it is a constant struggle. My conscious self says,
Brenda you are beautifully and wonderfully made.
My humanness says,
Girl go get them tities!
I remember one of my best friends, back in college, who is also #teambirdchest didn’t wear a bra one day. And us, flat chested people NEVER EVER do that.
I’m talking about us:
We NEVER EVER go without a bra because it’s against the rules of the game. You must have breasts at all times. Padded, gel, socks, tissue whatever you gotta do because breasts make your outfit.
Cleavage, rather the appearance of cleavage, is a MUST!
But my homegirl told me that she was just forcing herself to be confident in her skin. Now, how long that lasted I am not sure but I was proud of her and envious of the courage she had to walk on FSU’s campus without a bra.
I remember she and I had a conversation about the difficulties of living in Miami. Plastic surgery is sold January through January. There is never an off season. Filling your bikini top and bottom is the sale pitch. And you hear it during commercial breaks on television and radio. It is etched in your psyche that a full figured body is the perfect body. In Miami, you can finance some breasts and some booty!
I saw Lupita Nyong’o on Sunday in her #Nairobiblue Prada gown. Her dark skin glistened like oiled mahogany. Her chest flat but exposed and confident like double Ds. I smile when I see her. She’s an amazing contradiction to what we know as beautiful. Yet you would never know that this is not what we adore because she carries herself like a Queen. It’s amazing how confidence demands your respect and attention.
My friend, Tanesha was the first person I knew to wear herself out. And I am proud that Lupita rocks Lupita! And she’s doing it at an international level.
It’s a slow process for me because I’m mentally fighting against years of taught self hate. I remember being, what I thought at the time, a neo-revolutionary in college but I dared not show my natural hair. oh, the contradicting life I live …
Everyday is a fight to accept me for me. I’m far from perfect but I am starting to believe that I’m pretty good the way I am – no alterations are needed.