BEDA 3: I Want to Be a Free Woman

I never went to school for free. I have had scholarships but never a full ride. I did have the chance to go to law school for free (Temple and Rutgers offered me a full ride) but I decided to go to a better ranking school.  I should have thought that through a bit more but it’s another blog for another day. I have always had to borrow money to fund my education. And I never really thought about student loan debt until I had to repay it.

Since starting the repayment process I have not really been actively trying to pay down my student loans.  I always pay a couple of dollars more towards the principle but nothing that allows me to see a huge decrease in the amount owed. This past month, I had one of the highest credit card bills ever and for the first time I had to really think about,  “What the heck did I buy?” I noticed that I ate out a bit too much, I did some major shopping and I vacationed twice in one month. Those things added up and I had to use money that I just came into, to pay my credit card bill.  SN: Don’t you hate it when money has no time to chill in your hands? Like it went straight to paying my bill. #rollseyes

July’s bill made me really think about my finances. I was a bit depressed thinking about how much money I was giving American Express. I thought about how I could’ve paid one of my student loans off with the money I paid American Express.  Man, I could have done so much with that money.

But I gotta pay for what I bought.  Now I see how so many of those purchases were so unnecessary.  I’m pretty good with credit cards as I am NOT IN DEBT but I think the downfall for me with using credit cards is that I don’t automatically feel the hit. You see, if I paid for all of those things in cash, I would have never spent that much money because I would have immediately saw and felt the hit once I handed the money over.  In the past I have carried cash and when I get down to my last $100 I am so aware of how I spend it.  I love when I have money in my purse, so I tend to make it last. I make better decisions with cash than with credit cards.  Credit cards just delay the inevitable — payment.  I am thinking about limiting the use of my credit cards.  Like I stated before, there are benefits to having credit cards but now I truly believe that they also develop horrible habits.

My focus now is to keep my credit card balance to no more than $500 a month and to aggressively pay off my student loan debt.  I’m going to start with the smaller ones and work my way up.  My goal is to eliminate the smallest loan in 12 months.  My loans that I borrowed from my law school were recently cancelled and that has really motivated me to pay off my student loans. When they sent me that letter telling me that they were going to inform all credit bureaus that the money had been PAID IN FULL #glorrray ::insert praise dance:: a burden was lifted.  I want to feel that feeling again and again.  I’m dedicated to paying these people what I owe.

Some people say they don’t care about student loans and will die with them.  I don’t want to die with debt. I want to die to live as a free woman! I hate owing people money be it a friend, American Express or Citibank. #hello  I’m just at a place where I just want my money to be my money!


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